NEW YORK - If you believe the stodgy old New York Times, you might actually think that the real page-one news this past Friday was found in such headlines as "U.S. Trade Deficit Hit All-Time High in 2005," or "White House Knew of Levee's Failure on Night of Storm." The local tabloids leaned in a slightly different direction: "Gretzky and Betzky" was the banner on the New York Daily News, while the ever-succinct New York Post just screamed "Betzky!"

ARCADIA, Calif. - A decision announced this week by the U.S. Department of Agriculture dispels once and for all the quaint notion that a modern democratic government - in this case the government of the United States of America - exists to serve the will and welfare of its citizens.

Folks, it looks like we're on our own.

ARCADIA, Calif. - It's a small consolation, but at least Stevie Wonderboy is in good company. The list of headline 3-year-olds injured while on their way to the Kentucky Derby is long and honorably populated.

Imagine owning a horse like Stagehand, Equipoise, Gen. Duke, Graustark, Buckpasser, Hoist the Flag, Deputy Minister, Devil's Bag, Hostage, Timely Writer, Roving Boy, A.P. Indy, Event of the Year, or Declan's Moon, and getting that call from your trainer:

"I have some bad news . . ."

LAS VEGAS - Today is mid-term exam day, and be prepared to flunk the test.

It is a one-question quiz: Name the five top money-winning jockeys and/or drivers in American horse racing today.

You may have gotten numbers 2 thru 5, but it is highly unlikely that you got the number one man right.

With the retirement of Jerry Bailey, the mantle as leading active money winner in horse racing went from Bailey to John Campbell, harness racing's greatest driver. He is winner of five Hambletonians - trotting's Kentucky Derby - and his mounts have won $232,070,251.

ARCADIA, Calif. - Well, that's a relief. Apparently there is life after the Triple Crown, after all.

America's most famous Thoroughbred competition rarely leaves much in the way of residual racing value, once the preps are finished and the sun sets on the second Saturday in June. The principals usually leave the stage - for surgical procedures, stud duty, or both - while the also-rans fade away, rarely to be heard from again, and prompting the widely held notion that "maybe they weren't the best of the crop anyway."

How would we ever know?

NEW YORK - Wagering on American Thoroughbred racing was down $500 million in 2005, but I accept no personal responsibility for this decline: Reliable statistics indicate that my personal handle was up 23 percent over 2004. I have tried to get 2006 off to a strong start for a second year of double-digit annual growth, but the racing industry isn't exactly making it easy for me.

ARCADIA, Calif. - Those of us who hail from an obscure backwater village where professional football is merely a distant rumor - like Los Angeles - cannot begin to appreciate the delirium spinning heads in the Pacific Northwest, home of the Super Bowl underdogs.

Even Seattle's diehard Seahawks fans find it hard to believe that their team and town perch on the brink of winning America's most famous trophy, or any trophy, for that matter. While admired for its coffee and its grand maritime scenery, Seattle has never been confused with Chicago or Baltimore as a pro sports mecca.

ARCADIA, Calif. - In the rest of the civilized racing world, the return of a Derby winner would be greeted by parades and proclamations. Surgeries would be postponed, holidays rescheduled, and children would be excused from school.

By contrast, Giacomo will be quietly taking the stage on Saturday at Santa Anita Park in the $300,000 Strub Stakes, making his debut as a 4-year-old after knee and ankle surgeries, and running for the first time since he faded into the Belmont Stakes background behind Afleet Alex last June.

HALLANDALE BEACH, Fla. - Michael Matz is a judicious horse trainer, and he exercises restraint when asked how good his colt Barbaro might be. But some people who watched the Maryland-based youngster win the Laurel Futurity in November wondered if he might be the most talented Thoroughbred on the planet. The effort was so impressive that Barbaro's owners received - and rejected - a staggering $5 million offer to buy him.

ARCADIA, Calif. - The following news item was issued, with a straight face, by Churchill Downs Inc. on Wednesday:

"Churchill Downs racetrack today announced that Yum! Brands Inc., the world's largest restaurant company and parent of KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Long John Silver's and A&W Restaurants, will become the historic first-ever presenting sponsor of the Kentucky Derby. This year's 132nd renewal of America's greatest horse race on Saturday, May 6, will be referred to as 'the Kentucky Derby presented by Yum! Brands.' "