The Haiku Handicapper: 2016 Kentucky Derby

DRF sales editor Joe Nevills analyzes the Kentucky Derby field, in post position order, in the form of Haiku, a Japanese poem of 17 syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.

Trojan Nation
The Wood runner-up
Still has maiden conditions
And will on Sunday

Suddenbreakingnews
Plenty of closers
Enter this edition’s gate
He’s not the best one

Creator
From out of nowhere
Arkansas Derby winner
Will gain placing late

Mo Tom
Nightmare final prep
The latest in a series
Can’t have that luck here

Gun Runner
King of the Fair Grounds
Hardly taken a bad step
Could use one more gear

My Man Sam
Last-to-first style
Will make him fun this summer
Pass on him ‘til then

Oscar Nominated
Ex-maiden claimer
Had to pay for his ticket
And could watch them all

Lani
Global melting pot
On the verge of melting down
So many red flags

Destin
Marco Rubio
Was still a candidate when
This horse last started

Whitmore
Gets the right jockey
But lacking a standout win
Needs a career-best

Exaggerator
Ran the best last prep
And can strike from anywhere
If he’s clear, watch out

Tom’s Ready
A constant bridesmaid
In a shaky Bayou camp
Not much to entice

Nyquist
Undefeated champ
Good at avoiding trouble
That trip wins Derbies

Mohaymen
Sticker-shock sale grad
Blinked first in Gulfstream showdown
Downward momentum

Outwork
Sire’s first winner
All-out in pressured Wood win
Not sure he wants more

Shagaf
His momentum stalled
In the Aqueduct traffic
Jim Dandy prospect

Mor Spirit
Can’t knock his record
But a straight line gets tougher
When the stretch gets deep

Majesto
Mammoth specimen
Wants all the distance they’ll give
Could sneak on the board

Brody’s Cause
A different horse
When racing in Kentucky
He’s in the right state

Danzing Candy
Threw anchor last out
Another panel won’t help
Don’t like him at all

AE – Laoban
He’s still a maiden
Faded in each of five starts
Wants no part of this

AE – Cherry Wine
Able stretch runner
A minor check contender
If he makes the gate

Prediction
Who wears the roses?
Exaggerator squeaks by
Nyquist, Majesto