MONTEVIDEO, Uruguay - When Scott Wells got his first look at Maronas Racecourse, he was shocked.

"It was like something out of an Indiana Jones movie," he recalled. "Everything was covered in vines. Packs of wild dogs were running all over the place."

And I thought the only good reason to watch the current version of "Dancing With the Stars" was the incomprehensible presence of Penn Jillette, one of the bad boys of the uber-magic duo Penn & Teller, whose monstrous bulk and bouncy black ponytail took the cha-cha to new depths last Monday night.

(Stephen Colbert noted on the next day's edition of "The Colbert Report" that it was Steve Guttenberg who caught his eye, adding, "I wonder which star he's dancing with.")

ARCADIA, Calif. - Hall of Fame voting for the Class of 2008 is under way, and ballots are in the hands of 184 voters. The deadline is April 4, giving the electorate plenty of time to chew over the categories of horses, jockeys, and especially trainers, which has been boiled down to an old-fashioned showdown between Carl Nafzger and Robert Wheeler.

TUCSON, Ariz. - Of racing's multitude of meetings, outnumbered only by stars in the sky, the one with the greatest potential for good convenes next Monday in Austin, Texas.

This is the first convention visit of Racing Commissioners International to the Lone Star State, and Gov. Rick Perry will be on hand to welcome them, confirming what all participants in racing know: these ladies and gentlemen have clout.

ARCADIA, Calif. - In his autobiography, "The Perfect Ride," Gary Stevens recounts the tale of Bedside Promise, a talented son of Honest Pleasure who won major stakes from six furlongs to 1 1/8 miles. On Oct. 17, 1987, Stevens and Bedside Promise went postward as heavy favorites in the Fall Sprint Championship at Bay Meadows, which was intended to serve as a prep for a Breeders' Cup event at Hollywood Park a month down the road.

"From the moment the race began, I felt him struggling," Stevens wrote. "He was traveling fine, but he wasn't giving me a feeling of confidence."

NEW YORK - Only a week ago, it seemed that Feb. 13 would be remembered in the political career of Eliot Spitzer as the day that the future of New York Thoroughbred racing was finally settled.

ARCADIA, Calif. - Since Jim Kasparoff has made no apparent mistakes so far with Bob Black Jack, it wouldn't make much sense to question his decision to run the six-furlong world-record holder 1 1/16 miles on Saturday in the $200,000 San Felipe Stakes at Santa Anita.

NEW YORK - Thirty years after the epic battles of Affirmed and Alydar, American racing fans are starting to hope that they might see another 2-year-old rivalry continue into the Triple Crown.

INGLEWOOD, Calif. - If the era of Lava Man has ended, someone should tell him. To the eyes of observers Wednesday morning at Hollywood Park, the old boy looked fresh as a daisy and brimming with good health.

BUENOS AIRES - For years I have harbored a gambling fantasy: to live in a foreign country and play the horses seriously by using American handicapping techniques. I did so in 1990 when I spent three months in Sydney, Australia, declaring before my departure that I was going to become the King of the Southern Hemisphere. This didn't happen - my profit was minuscule - but the experience was such an adventure that I wanted to repeat it.