A few months back I promised you a good story about slogans and a horse's name: "In harness racing, it all comes down to the Breeders Crown, and it has ever since 1984 when the Breeders Crown folks liked the slogan (proposed as part of a larger advertising campaign by Mike Shapira's W.B Doner and Company). Although they did not hire Doner for the campaign, they did buy the slogan. Shapira, by the way, also owned Proudfoot Farms, which campaigned Jug champ Colt Fortysix and World Champ Albert Albert in partnership with trainer/driver Chris Boring, but more about that in next month's column." Well, next month came and went and my deadline got changed and I ended up writing about how COVID-19 affected our sport, but I keep my promises, even if a bit late. So here we go. Shapira always had fun with his horse names. He was also an astute and talented ad man. And that led to the name of one of his best horses, Albert Albert. Column aside: I am writing this from my luxurious cardiology suite at University Hospitals here in Cleveland while we try to figure out why my heartbeat needs more cowbell. While on vacation here, I am getting 80 milligrams of Lasix administered three times daily. For comparison, a racehorse typically gets 250-400 milligrams (rarely to 500) prior to racing. So, I am on about the minimum equine dose, and I am indeed peeing like a racehorse. As to masking ability or performance enhancement, the Lasix is enhancing my ability to urinate, but little else. And although I have tried, I have been unable to get my attending physician or cardiologist to give me any performance enhancers (strictly for research purposes) while here, so that question officially remains unanswered. Anyway, Shapira was considered an advertising genius in his day and Doner was a major player in the game from its Detroit headquarters. The only thing dearer to Shapira than advertising was harness racing. Partnered with Boring, he campaigned many good horses, many creatively named. Colt Fortysix (named after his sales hip number) was the 1984 Little Brown Jug champ, after setting a 1:50 3/5 World Record at Springfield. A son of Albatross, he won 15 of 22 career starts at 3, his only year of racing. Shapira's homebred Speculum earned over $200k and he and Boring had several horses who were major factors on the Midwest Grand Circuit, back when that circuit actually meant something. When Boring and Shapira spent $42,000 on the Abercrombie colt Liscannor at the 1985 Harrisburg Sale, they were buying into Standardbred royalty. Bred by the Rooneys (of Yonkers Raceway and Pittsburgh Steelers fame), his damn was Lismore, who was one of the great broodmares of all time. Among her progeny were not just the millionaire subject of this story, but Curragh ($509,740), Lahar ($448,561), Lisheen ($518,405) and Lisryan ($550,857). All told, she had nine foals in 1:55, in the 1980s and 1990s when that number still meant something. But Shapira was determined to put his own stamp on the horse. One of his clients at Doner was Canadian Tire, a huge Canadian Department store chain similar to Montgomery Ward (at the time) in the states. Canadian Tire specialized in auto parts and hardware, but sold just about everything. Through many different ad agencies, they were known for thoughtful television commercials, especially at Christmas. The most iconic of all these commercials was produced by Shapira's company in 1984, It featured a pick-up hockey game. Watch it here. I said watch it. Yes, that is Scott Schwartz (Flick from A Christmas Story) as the big brother who finds picking little brother Albert nearly as painful as sticking his tongue to a flagpole. The commercial won awards and was featured in Sports Illustrated which said, "The commercial has caught the fancy of a nation. Albert t-shirts and posters are on the market. Before a pre-season intra-squad game, the Vancouver Canucks stitched ALBERT on the back of the sweater of rookie defensemen J.J. Daigneault, at 19 the youngest player on the team. Spectators at games chant "Albert . . . Albert . . . Albert." During a recent Canucks game, a fan sat with a bag over his head in lament for the plight of the NHL's worst team. Written on the bag was, WE WANT ALBERT," Doner, Shapira's Michigan-based agency, filmed the commercial for its Canadian client in Colorado. Twelve-year-old Bill Novinski played 7-year-old Albert. The commercial struck a nerve in Canada and is still well known there today. Shapira must have liked his work, because before you knew it, Liscannor was renamed Albert Albert. Albert Albert became a World Champion, banking $591,599 at 2, when he won 10 of 18 starts. He swept both heats of the Fox State at the Indianapolis, where he took his freshman World Record of 1:52 4/5; of the Kentucky Pacing Derby at Louisville Downs; and of the Standardbred. He also picked up a win at Lexington. In 1988 at age 3, he earned $645,471, winning nine of 22. The 1988 crop of sophomores was a tough one, including Matt's Scooter, Runnymeade Lobell, Camtastic, IRA, Guida, BJ Scoot and others, but Albert Albert was as good as any. He won elims of The Adios and The Little Brown Jug, as well as both same-day heats of a Meadowlands Early Closer. He also won the Slutsky at Monticello. While not a great sire, standing first in New Jersey and later, ironically, in Ontario, he was decent in the breeding barn. Among his offspring are Pacific Rocket, Oohs and Aahs, Little Steven and Bad Bert. Albert Albert was not the greatest horse ever, but the story of his name, and its tie-in to Shapira's advertising business, make a great story. Want to be sure to cash? Check out these two iconic Canadian Tire commercials: "Wheels" and "The Outsider".